1. Don't believe
everything you see.
The
distortion our girls see when they look at their reflections is due to looking
in an imperfect mirror. A true mirror has a shiny back surface that is
perfectly smooth, but an imperfect mirror has a surface that is rough or
warped, causing light to bounce back to us at an angle, rather than directly,
manipulating the image reflected to our eyes in the process.
I
was curious about how prevalent these distorted mirrors are, so I carried out a
fairly unscientific little research project over the past few months. I created
a 12-point questionnaire which I had a few friends distribute to 100 young
women, approximately ages 12-25. These women were asked to return their
responses to me anonymously. I was amazed to see these questionnaires flood in.
Clearly, these girls were interested in sharing their feelings about this
sensitive and confusing topic. I'm excited to be able to share some interesting
insights I gained from their answers.
First
of all, the world's mirrors are definitely flawed; they try to tell us what
beauty is but, as my questionnaire revealed, the world can be downright wrong.
Some of the definitions of beauty I received were:
Beauty is: "being
skinny"
"having
a symmetrical face" (what we might call looking 'perfect')
"being sexy"
Jane
Evans Latimer, a recovered eating-disorder victim, now a self-proclaimed
'body-image activist' (like me), insists that "as
long as we believe glamour is beauty,
we will be taken in by a bunch of lies."[1]
Luckily,
some of my questionnaire respondents must be looking in the Lord's mirror. A
few shared some wonderful definitions of beauty, such as:
Beauty is: "the
light that shines through"
"A confidence and peace that
allows you to carry yourself and
speak with others in a way which
uplifts those around you."
"the quality present in a person
that makesthem appealing to others."
Interestingly,
there was a clear disconnect on many of these questionnaires. Even these girls who knew the "right" answer to
what beauty is still had many other 'wrong answers' about their own beauty,
such as feeling huge pressure to "look perfect" or "be
sexy."
You
can probably guess what they saw as the source of those pressures. Again and again, they talked about television, magazines,
the internet, celebrities, and "a sex-obsessed society."
To keep things simple, we'll lump all those together and call them 'the media.'
Let's
look at a few pertinent statistics.
· Looking at fashion and beauty
magazines for just 60 minutes lowers the self-esteem of over 80% of girls.[2]
· Television was introduced to the island of Fiji in 1995. Three
years later, 74% of Fijian girls felt they were either "too big" or
"too fat."[3]
· The average woman is 5'4" and weights 140 lbs. The average
American fashion model is 5'11" and weighs 117 lbs. Most fashion models
are thinner than 98% of Americans.[4]
The
media isdefinitely distorting what we
are seeing. We have to help poke holes in Hollywood's pretences and debunk such
media myths as:
1. You have to look "just like
this" to be happy
2. You have a problem, and we are
here to fix it.
3. You are little more than a
sexual object.
First,
You have to look "just like
this."
Cindy
Crawford, one of the first huge supermodels, once said:
"I
wish I looked like Cindy
Crawford!"
She
knew she didn't and she couldn't because in this
technologically-capable world, the media can use every trick imaginable to
alter images. "Just like this" is "just like impossible!!"
If you don't believe me, watch this short video produced by the Dove Campaign
for Real Beauty.
Amazing,
isn't it! There you have it: What we see isn't always real!
In
addition to this sort of "extreme photoshopping," media experts also
use filtered lenses, manipulated and artificial lighting, and hours of
expensive make-up and hair artists. Celebrities even write renowned photo
retouchers' skills into their contracts! Pascal Dangin, one New York City based
photo retoucher, earns $20,000 to create a flawless cover image for fashion
magazines, no matter what the original looks like.[6]All
of this to the end that girls are encouraged, openly and subconsciously, to
emulate a standard of physical appearance that is humanly unattainable.
The
second media myth is that we have a problem and
they can fix it. This describes advertising in a nutshell! According
to the media, our "problems" range from skin that isn't soft enough
to hair that's not silky enough to legs that aren't thin enough.
One
of the worst advertising trends of late, thanks to ever-advancing computer
technology, is the dehumanization of women. Literally, women's bodies are being
shown in pieces, or, even worse, are being turned into things, like beer
bottles, blades of scissors, etc. I debated showing you some of these images
but decided you've all seen them and I'd rather not drag us through the mud in
making this point. Much research is being done on the dangers of such
advertising. In particular, studies show an increase in violence against women
because of the objectification of their bodies.[7]
Does
advertising even work? Does it matter? Well it must or no company would spend
the money, right? And it's crucial to remember that advertising isn't just
going on during the commercials; nearly every facet of the media is trying to
sell us something, trying to convince us that we have a problem and if we
conform to x, y, or z, we will be happy.
Listen
to this telling comment from one of my questionnaire respondents: "I guess our society is so full of things to make you
prettier that you don't have an excuse not to [use them]."
Sounds like the advertising is working.
The
third media myth I want to touch on is the notion that women are little more than sexual objects.
The
sexualization of females of all ages is a huge concern to psychologists, and it
should be a huge concern to each of us, too.
Sexualization
is different than sexuality--
sexuality is
healthy and normal, evolving in children as they grow and mature. Sexuality is
about having a proper understanding of how bodies work and why.
sexualization, on the
other hand, refers to someone's sense of value or self being based solely on
sex appeal, or when that person is held to restrictively narrow standards of
attractiveness.[8]
lt's
obvious in the objectification and dehumanization I just mentioned that
sexualization devalues accomplishment, intelligence and character.
I
think this is what Elder Ballard was talking about when he memorably observed:
"[Popular culture] objectifies [women] and disrespects them
and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by
seduction--easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends
to women about themselves."[9]
Did
you hear that? An apostle of the Lord powerfully stating that the sexualization
of women is "easily the most
pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves."
He
went on to say,
"I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your
role models and mentors. Following these messages can put [you and] your
daughters on the path to sin and self-destruction."[10]
So,
let's teach our daughters and
ourselves not to believe everything we see because what we see in the media is
not always real or right.
[2]Dr. Raj Persaud, Consultant Psychiatrist,
Maudsley Hospital
[3]Audrey D. Brashich, All Made Up: A Girl's Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype. . . and
Celebrating Real Beauty, Walker Publishing Company, 2006, p. 64.
[6]Audrey D. Brashich, All Made Up: A Girl's Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype. . . and
Celebrating Real Beauty, Walker Publishing Company, 2006, p. 50.
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